First off I'd like to say thanks to Tony for the kind words, I'll definitely be checking your blog out too, it's nice to know that what I'm doing here is appreciated.
Right, back to business. Why would this phrase have such an impact? You'd have thought that it'd be pretty obvious really that I'm not 23 now. The truth is, I'd just been thinking about how great it was when Finn was a baby and was looking forward to being able to do it all over again. It hasn't actually occurred to me that my body has aged by nearly 40 and it might not be quite as easy as it was in my early 20s.
I've never been particularly sporty. At school I was always more academic than physical, I was one of the last to get picked for teams and, even though I never came last in running races, the only two who finished behind me were the kid who was affectionately known as "Tank" and the boy who ran as if he had rickets. I've never known anyone else whose feet look like side-on windmills as he heads down a track.
I was a bit more active during my band days, as a bassist it became obvious that I was often the member of the band overlooked. (After one gig I walked off stage and was almost immediately asked by someone, "So do you have anything to do with the band?") So I started to bounce. I haven't played in a band in 12 years now though.
As I've already pointed out, now I'm 38. I've smoked 20 a day since I was 19, while I may not be hugely overweight I've always eaten what I enjoy and never taken much notice of diet. I have a ridiculous sweet tooth. I've often joked that at my age I get out of breath running a bath, I sometimes struggle to get up and down on my knees (I have been wondering if that might be arthritis) and ever since an unfortunate incident at work 8 years ago when I almost broke my back, I've struggled with back pain.
Ok, I bet you're wondering how now aren't you? 8 years ago I worked in Europe's largest garden centre. I was in the warehouse just before Christmas when 3 (very large) boxes of stuffed penguins fell off a ladder and hit me squarely on the head. The hospital initially thought I'd crushed my T3 vertebrae but it turned out just to be severely bruised discs. Work however found the whole situation hilarious and, when it came to the post Christmas stock take, guess who they made count the stuffed penguins?
So this simple little sentence made me realise, maybe it's time to start doing something about it. I don't want to be a dad who can't run around and play with my kids. Maybe it's time to get help with kicking the pariah's habit of nicotine addiction, start looking at what I eat and start trying to get fit.
Having been raised in a family where we ate good old fashioned hearty food, (my granddad was a big fan of dripping on bread and often made us sugar butties) and not considering myself overweight I have no idea where to start when it comes to fitness. My mum used to go through stages of dieting which involved weekly meetings and studying a book before eating anything, that seemed like a huge hassle and never really lasted long. Mum's general diet tips are; if you put on a fitness DVD, sit down with a bar of chocolate to watch it and if you get on the scales and don't like what they say then they're obviously broken so throw them out.
I'm not saying I've been lazy, I've always been active at work, never sitting down and potentially walking miles during a 6-8 hour shift. That coupled with housework and running a home has been my main fitness regime and until now it seemed enough.
I guess the first thing to do is look at where I am now, where I'm starting from. That in mind, I think today may well involve a trip to the doctor to book myself in for a full health check and find out about their quit smoking service. Don't get me wrong, when I say 'may well' I don't mean I'm trying to think of ways to get out of it, Han has a consultant's appointment at the hospital so it's all going to depend on time. If I don't make it today I'll go down first thing in the morning. I promise.
I will admit I'm a little nervous, this kind of feels like some sort of threshold, like after this appointment then everything will change. I'll never be able to claim blissful ignorance again will I?
Wish me luck.
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